That Old Black Magic
by AndromedaStarr
Summary: The aftermath of an encounter between Goren and Barek and the humorous fallout that ensues. Nothing is what it seems. Reviews are crack, feed my addiction!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: As everybody knows, I do not own the L&O franchise – Dick Wolf, genius that he is, does. I do not own the characters, nor do I own the actors playing them (unfortunately for me, fortunately for them).

Note to the reader: This is not canon Bobby. _Way_ not canon.

No character has been harmed in the making of this fic.

* * *

_De-deet! De-deet! De-deet!_

Robert Goren's eyes snapped open. No preliminaries, no groaning, no yawn. He blinked a few times to clear his vision, then rolled over with the intention of reaching for the alarm clock. Which is about when he saw the woman lying next to him.

Goren instinctively jerked backwards, forgetting he was already close to the edge of the bed, and slid off the mattress onto the floor with a muffled yelp, giving himself the beginnings of a royal headache. He took less than two seconds to catch himself, then scrambled to his feet. She lay on her side, her back to him. Her very bare back to him. She had one of those curvaceous bodies, but small, and thick ink-black hair was spread out on the pillow beneath her head.

He tried to recall last night, but his memory was mostly foggy. Despite that, however, he knew what he must have done. It _had_ to be. Distantly he wondered how he was going to explain this to her. Or to anyone else.

He glanced down at himself. There were a few scratches on his chest – he knew from experience that they were from fingernails – and what looked like light bruising on his arms. Goren lifted a hand to the back of his neck to ease the neckache that was already developing. This was a situation he was going to have to do a little better than talk his way out of. Tentatively, he reached across and prodded her bare shoulder. She arched, yawned slightly and rolled over onto her back.

Tremulously, Goren asked, "_Barek_?"

One eyelid opened a fraction, and then she rose up on her elbows, all gorgeously tumbling hair and sleepy dark eyes. "Goren?" Barek shook her head, rubbing her eyes sleepily. "How...what..." She paused. "Tell me I'm dreaming." He shook his head wordlessly. Barek's eyes widened ever so slightly. "Not dreaming." A shake of Goren's head. She whistled softly and sat up, clutching the sheet to her chest. "Tell me it's Sunday."

Now his eyes widened. "Monday." His gaze flicked to the window. "Sun's up."

She was already getting out of bed. "We will most definitely be talking about this later." In the doorway of his bedroom, the sheet knotted around herself, Barek made the most incongruous and amusing image. "I'm sure I'll enjoy your explanation of why exactly I happened to spend last night in your bed with no memory of how I got there." And Goren stared, openmouthed, as she proceeded to lock him out of his own bathroom.

_Well_, he thought ruefully, _at least she's better behaved than Eames was_.


	2. Chapter 2

In Major Case, Goren was doing his best to avoid Barek's accusing stare and had piled up a mountain of paperwork on the desk in front of him to shield him from her eyes. It wasn't working. He needed a cigarette.

Eames slid into the chair across from him. "Earth to Goren?" She waved a hand in front of his face. "What's eating you?"

"Nothing," he answered distractedly, and looked down at the horticulture book he'd had open on the page of hellebore for the last fifteen minutes. "Just checking something out."

"Bobby," Eames said gently, and reached across the table. "It's upside down."

Goren, unfortunately, wasn't master enough of his emotions to stop the blush that rose to his cheeks. "Right." He refocused on the page. He'd memorized it about eighteen months ago, the first time he'd read it – having a photographic memory was a wonderful thing. Recognizing the familiarity of the information, his brain tuned the book out again, and he could almost feel his eyes glazing over.

"_Bobby_." Eames had narrowed her eyes now. "If looks could kill, Barek would have stir-fried you about half an hour ago. _What_ is going on?"

Goren sighed and rubbed one hand over his face. "I woke up with her this morning," he said simply. "How do I explain it to her?"

Eames smirked. She knew this scenario all too well. "She have any memory left?" He shook his head mutely. "Tell her she drank too much last night at the bar. I'll back you up."

He shifted restlessly. "Alex..."

"I get it, I get it. You don't want to lie to her. Well, what are you going to tell her, Bobby? That you slipped her the love potion in her last beer?" Eames shook her head. "She'll never believe you. I mean, I did, but that's different. I'm, well...me."

Goren's right leg was bouncing ceaselessly, and he was beginning to attract some peculiar stares across the squad room. "Alex, you threw things at me," he reminded her patiently. "A sneaker, a copy of _Ulysses_ and a mug. A mug of three-day-old coffee."

"I got over it." She raised her eyebrows, daring him to disagree.

"You never let me live it down. You threatened to tell Deakins I'd instigated fraternization with you if I didn't keep letting you drive – even while you were too pregnant to fit behind the steering wheel properly. That's blackmail." Now his left eyelid was twitching. "If Barek won't cut a deal..."

"I'll talk to her," Eames promised. "Come on, Bobby. You can't keep up this pretense for all that much longer. How can you keep passing off your impeccable case stats as knowledge? You're going to have to come out and tell them you're a wizard sooner or later."

He bit his lip and sighed. "A guy has a little magical power and he's labelled a wizard. Sheesh." He took a deep breath. "You'll talk to her? What are you going to say?"

"Oh..." Eames smiled mischievously. "I'll think of something."


	3. Chapter 3

"He's a what?" Barek couldn't believe her ears. She stared at Eames. "No way."

Eames nodded. "Yes way. I didn't believe it either, at first. But what else could it be?"

"It certainly fits," Barek mused. "The knowledge of motive and suspect, figuring out all those impossible cases..." She shook her head. "You're kidding me. How long have you known?"

"Couple of months. It's kind of tenuous." Eames exhaled. "See, he put a love potion in my drink too. I woke up next to him just like you did, couldn't remember a thing. Just like you. I guess it was really starting to get to him, so he told me. It was so crazy it had to be true."

"I guess." Barek scratched her head. "Well, thanks for letting me know. I'll keep things quiet."

Once they exchanged their usual farewell pleasantries and Eames had strolled off, Barek couldn't help but giggle quietly. So Bobby was a wizard...and to make life fun, he had slipped Eames a little magical something in the drink once. Well, that would naturally be the memory he'd have of the night before...slipping Barek some potion like he'd done to his partner. She found that highly amusing, seeing that she was the one who'd committed the indiscretion and then acted affronted to maintain an illusion of innocence.

_Ah_, sighed Barek, a full cup of perfect coffee appearing before her, _it's good to be a witch_.


End file.
